So yesterday Mommy and I attended the Pink Table Talk 2 discussion at the House of Hope in Decatur, GA. We had on our pink and I brought my new book, "When Your Bad Meets His Good", by none other than Pastor Kim Pothier. A birthday gift from my mom. I was prepared to have it signed by Pastor Kim who wasn't there because she didn't feel well. We will keep her in our prayers.
As I sat in the room I marveled at all the beautiful women surrounding me. Most in pink and most in high heels. We discussed topics ranging from how to succeed as a woman in ministry and of course..men, dating, marriage. I don't know about anyone else but I am exasperated with this topic. I'm tired of the "how to find and keep a man" books. I'm tired of being lectured on "how to be a wife and attract a good Godly man" and I'm sick of this fantasy that's fed to women that Prince Charming is going to come in and sweep you off your feet. And then what exactly? Very few times have I heard it discussed what a woman is doing before, during, or after this sweeping of feet. Are we just sitting around praying and waiting? Are we actively looking for the Prince? Are we kissing a bunch of frogs? Them: What about intentional dating? What if I don't want to be his coat? What if he's my lid? Dating is so hard in Atlanta. Me: I just want Jesus. Y'all. I'm going to keep it real with you. Most of my mistakes with men have started with the belief that I need to be married. I didn't even know why I wanted to get married. Maybe it's because I come from a family of Alpha women who are not married and I wanted to be different. Perhaps I wanted the nuclear family that I never had. A lot of it had to do with books, movies, sermons all geared toward helping a women find this man. Oh and by they way, we are supposed to simultaneously find and not look for him at the same time. This man will fall out of the sky. Hand delivered by the Good Lord Himself. This belief that a woman should and needs to be married led to me thinking that if I met a guy and we were compatible, attracted to one another, and possessed the same desire to marry then he must be a potential husband. I started to ignore attitudes, behaviors, and red flags because I was so desperate to believe that I could finally have the husband, house, ring that everyone says I should be seeking. Where did that lead me? I'm a single mother of two kids by two different men who both anatomically could have been husbands, verbally expressed the desire to be a husband, but lacked true commitment and sense of responsibility and had no loyalty toward me. Men can sniff out desperation like blood hounds and if the wrong dog sniff he's going to exploit tf out of you. Just keeping it real as I only know how. My thoughts: 1. GET YOUR HEAD OFF THAT SWIVEL - Stop looking around. Look up! The Bible says in Matthew 6:33 "But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Focus on the Kingdom of God and God's purpose for your life. Quit watching and waiting thinking "Is he the one?" Focus on the Kingdom of God and God's purpose for your life. Keep your mind on things of the Lord. Start that ministry that helps women, open that group home for kids, write your book, start your retail store, raise your children. If you desire to be married then if you are doing the Lord's work and living in obedience then you will be married for the Bible says in Mark 11:24, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." The scriptures don't say when. But it also says in Galatians 6:9, "Let us not grow weary in well-doing. For in due time we will reap a harvest, not giving up." My takeaway is Seek God. Do God's will. Do well. Don't grow weary. What I don't see is scripture is anywhere that it says "Find a man. Keep a man." 2. Proverbs 18:22. You will not find him. He will find you. Call me old fashioned but I firmly believe this. I really don't think men want to be pursued for marriage. I believe that when they are ready to marry they will start looking. If they see you as a suitable wife for them then it's you. If you line some men up and pick out 1 and say "He looks like a good husband. I want that one." You are setting yourself up for disaster. Just as women are taught "Be a wife before you become one" men have to be husbands before they marry a woman. A man has to want to be married (and the responsibilities that come with that) and he has to want you. You are not going to meet a really nice guy and feed and sex him into wanting to marry you. Ask any woman of a particular age and she will tell you that does not work! Men are hunters. When you meet a man who wants to be married, he will tell you. Not vice versa. So today you can stop nagging that man about "When are we getting married?" What you can do is stop giving him marriage privileges and go start that ministry, write that book, open that group home. 3. "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband; but she that makes ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." Remember that you are the crown. Your husband doesn't become a King until he has found you, his Queen. You are his pride and joy. Precious and valuable. Diamonds don't mine for people. People mine for diamonds. Be sought. Be different. Be rare. Be that woman who is not desperate, not going on dates for free meals because it's going to cost him more than money in the long run, be that woman who is not seeking or searching for anything because she has found her purpose in God. In my opinion a good man who is ready, equipped, and sent will not be scared away by your business, your ministry, your values, your morals but will be attracted to the way you live your life for God. He will be attracted to your light as you continue to work to please God who is our ultimate provider and protector.
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I'm up late working on my many entrepreneurial ventures. Just waiting for the breakthrough that everyone talks about. I have come to so many epiphanies over the past 2 years so I guess it's coming. I'm actually starting to get things done. I started my virtual call center company and have started actively recruiting agents. I have started working from home for the same company in addition to driving for Uber & Lyft. I'm working on restarting my jewelry business. You will see some of the items that I have for sale in the "Store" section of this site. I will hopefully be able to list more once I "upgrade". I'm too cheap - ok broke - to do that right now. Ok cheap. My son said I could probably be on a show called "Extreme Cheapskates". I haven't seen it. I don't watch TV anymore. Only Netflix. And as I'm sitting here I'm really thinking about moving my businesses and my thoughts from Facebook and to this site. Why not? My mindset for the past few years (or maybe even decade) is that I want to have my own everything. I also want to share with you guys. I want to offer jobs and ideas. I want to be a philantropist, therapist, and community activist. I just want to do God's will and operate in my calling and on my own terms. Can anyone relate? What are you working on right now in your personal or professional life? What goals have you crushed this year, quarter, month, week, day, or hour?
Soooo...may of you have heard of Uber. I'd dare to bet that all of you have heard of Uber by now. If not, what rock have you been under? Just kidding. Kind of. Some of you know me, some of you don't, some would like to. If you know me you know that I have had many jobs and change jobs frequently, often on a whim. I have done everything from stockbroker to minimum wage front desk at L.A. Fitness (an experience for another blog). Most recently I've been driving for Uber (and Lyft but we will get to that later). On this platform riders request a ride and are matched with a driver who is closest to them. The driver receives and alert and decides whether to accept the customer or ignore it. This decision affects the drivers acceptance rate. I haven't yet figured out why the acceptance rate matters - but we will assume it does. Moving on. No pun intended. Once you accept the ride you hit the navigation button to receive turn by turn directions to the rider's pick up location - supposedly. What i've noticed is that time and time again the GPS will take you to a location other than where the rider is located. The GPS will even state "You have arrived". Is the rider in the woods? Have no fear. Uber has integrated a handy "contact" feature which allows you to call or text your rider to confirm their location. Often the mix up lies in the "location" feature on our phones. The location reported is sometimes not actually where the rider is located. Not a big deal since most riders are more than happy to simply confirm their location and wait for them to pick you up. There have been a couple of people who were assholes about it but the great part about being your own boss is you can cancel the ride. Bye Felicia. You will not get in my car with a funky attitude. Once the rider is in your car you confirm that you have picked them up and hit the navigation button for turn by turn directions to their drop off location. For some reason this works alot easier, probably because the rider has to manually enter their destination into the app. Let's go over some pro's and cons of driving for Uber:
Pro's You manage your day. You have time for Dr's appointments, Parent-Teacher conferences, or simply a nap You are not micromanaged. Your performance is rated by the riders. Most riders will give you 5 stars as long as you give them a 5 star rating, get them to their destination safely, and you're not an asshole. You don't have to deal with rude customers. Anyone who showed any possibility of being rude never made it into the car. If I encounter a rude customer they will be put out of the car. You get to meet many different people from all walks of life. Most people are friendly, appreciative, and enjoy good conversation. You attract what you are. You listen to music or whatever you want all day. You can rate your riders. I have never given a rider less than 5 stars but if I get one who is less than friendly they will be given 3 stars or less and put out of the car lol. If you give a rider 3 stars you will never be matched with them again. Cons There may be times when you drive 10 minutes to a rider to take them around the corner for a $5 ride. There are no Uber customer service representatives that you can speak to verbally that I know of. There is only one 1-800 number and that is reserved for issues concerning safety. Uber fares are uber low which lowers your pay. Many riders suggested I drive for Lyft also which I have started recently also. After the ride it takes a while for you to see your fare. It will say "processing" longer than necessary. With Lyft you see your fare immediately once you submit the feedback regarding your rider. The Uber app provides for a more distracted driver experience than Lyft, but not much more distracting. Overall I love it and I'm excited for the opportunity and glad that I am willing to try new things. I believe that working with Uber will allow me the flexibility that I need personally to be a breadwinner and a mother and to also work on my entrepreneurial ventures. I use @Uber to make money with my car & you can too. Use my link for $50 extra: https://partners.uber.com/i/fatimaha1030ue I am looking for a name for the ministry mentioned in the previous post. If you have any ideas comment below! Thanks in advance for your help.
I am in the very infantile stages of developing a ministry dedicated to healing and education for women and children & ending all forms of domestic abuse. The primary focus will be spiritual wellness with an emphasis on the preservation and love of self for the sake of children and families. I don't believe this is something that I can or want to do alone. I know that a team will be required. The Most High will bring those people to me one by one.
Eventually I would like to create a seperate website specifically dedicated to being a resource for families, women, children, and/or victims of domestic violence. If you are interested in participating in any way or have a need please comment below. If you would like your message to remain private text me at 678-820-9881. Share your favorites in the comments :-)
Here are a few of mine... "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." — Charles Schulz " If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever. " “I was looking up… it was the nearest thing to heaven! You were there…” Sometimes I'm lead to a particular scripture for whatever reason but every time I learn something new. I actually posted this on Facebook on September 1 and since I'm looking to move my thoughts from Facebook to my personal website I thought I'd share. The thought behind this is that reading the scripture will spark a thought or you'll think of a corresponding scripture that confirms the one I posted and share. It's meant to be a discussion. Join me.
Daniel 7:13–14 13 “I kept looking in the night visions, And behold, with the clouds of heaven One like a Son of Man was coming, And He came up to the Ancient of Days And was presented before Him. 14 “And to Him was given dominion, Glory and a kingdom, That all the peoples, nations and men of every language Might serve Him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion Which will not pass away; And His kingdom is one Which will not be destroyed. "If rain doesn't fall, corn doesn't grow."
-Yoruba Proverb pro·verb ˈprävərb/ noun
Share some useful sayings. We've all heard them - some more times than others. Or make up your own. |
Fatimah AleaI was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. I now reside in the Atlanta area. I am a Mother, Daughter, Granddaughter, Sister, Niece, Cousin, and Friend. Archives
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